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[26 Dec 2009|02:38pm] |
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mood |
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 ~so happy i could die~ |
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music |
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Godga |
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I saw this on ONTD today.
Our GaGa who art in Disco Heaven
Glorious be thy name
Thy Fame will come
Your Fashion become
on Earth as it is in Disco Heaven
Give us this day, our daily Monster
And forgive us our opposing fan bashing
As we listen to your timeless hits
In hopes, others shall do the same
And lead us not into a Bad Romance,
But the music of a siren .
For thine is the Thrown,
and the Fame, and your Queenliness,
for ever and ever.
Gaymen.
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[25 Dec 2009|09:30pm] |
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mood |
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 uncomfortable |
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I need to lose 50 pounds, like, today, or else I don't think I can ever look at myself in the mirror again.
Seeing old friends makes me feel ashamed of how much weight I've gained, and I almost don't want anyone to see me like this.
When I get back from Germany, I swear on all that is holy and unholy that I'm going to start going to the gym. I cannot bear to look like this anymore. I hate my body and I hate the way I look. I hate being around other girls that are thinner than me and feeling like a whale. I hate not getting hit on by guys anymore.
And I'm sorry if I'm complaining too much or whatever, but I've wasted so much of my time being fat. Why is it that I can never look or feel pretty? Even if people pay me compliments I still feel ugly and fat.
This Christmas was so boring and anti-climactic. I hope I can go out tomorrow night and have some real fun, get drunk and shit. I really want to get high, but sadly I don't think anyone I know over here smokes weed. Shit.
Fuck.
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[24 Dec 2009|05:01am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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It's 5 AM here and I can't sleep, and my back hurts like Satan.
On the bright side, it's Christmas Eve, and I've got an incredible outfit to wear today, and tomorrow. Yay!
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[22 Dec 2009|10:33am] |
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mood |
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 nervous |
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So I don't really want to admit this is in public and seem...idk, way too into celebrities? But I'm really having trouble processing Brittany Murphy's death. I'm not even sure why; maybe it's because I was so sudden, or because I kinda grew up watching her on TV and in movies. Idk, I CRIED a little today reading about her. It's sad. ~Rollin' with the homies~. Like I barely cried when Heath Ledger died, I hadn't invested too much into him, I mean he was a really fantastic actor and it's really tragic that he died and left a small daughter behind...idk.
Today I leave for Germany for nine days. Last night I hung out with Katie and it was so much fun, I love hanging out with her. It's rare that I find people that I have so much in common with. Cody stayed over this past weekend and left on Sunday. His phone got cut off on Sunday, so I wasn't able to talk to him yesterday and it made me kinda sad. I'm so nervous about the plane ride...oh well, at least I have killer shoes to wear to the airport and shit.
Hmm...I woke up too early. I'm gonna have to try to stay awake now so that I can sleep on the plane. Wish me luck!
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[16 Dec 2009|03:53am] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
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Today's events included second jobs, christmas shopping, funny noises coming from a car, domestic abuse, being scared, getting drunk, seemingly choking cats, getting high, and vomit on the floor.
And that may or may not be all done by me.
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